I'm falling to rock bottom. Please don't judge me, just give me help. I already beat myself up a lot. Help me?

Your focusing too much on negatives and the judgement and pressure you put on yourself to be perfect you place on others around you also. You may not be what you think you should be but if your trying to better yourself and be the best person you can be I'd say your doing well. I actually understand you because I too have the same problems with my children and I'm 40 year old diagnosed bi polar nurse. Sometimes I find myself analysing and overthinking everything I do and honestly I think it makes it worse so I started doing yoga, figuing out what I could do to help those around me by being a better person.